Lately

Sorry I have been gone for a little while; I am having technical difficulties! (Seasonal affective disorder) Eh, I’m used to it!  We had a hurricane a few weeks ago and it brought cold weather. Add low sunlight and presto! It is obnoxious, but I have tools to deal with it and while  a thorn in my side; it is nothing to write home about. Just know you CANNOT control your thoughts and emotions, but you can deal with them in appropriate manner. NOTHING happens without our permission! Negativity in life is inevitable, but it only overcomes us if we ALLOW it! I challenge everyone to concentrate on the haves, rather than have nots! Example : I have very good health (kind of haha, my labs are great!), 2 cats who love me, love in my life, and a roof over my head. I have my life. I will be grateful and slay the day!

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To be human

The world is indeed writhe with negativity; I am involved with human and animal rights and am absolutely privy to atrocity. Many people whom I love dearly suffer immensely at the hands of society, their family, their own minds, their bodies, etc. I am far from perfect and fight my own battles; as stated before, we walk through life shoulder to shoulder to shoulder. No single person is better than anyone else. We have had and continue to have different experiences. I cannot judge anyone for their choices, as I am not THEM.  I do know dishonesty and cruelty are wrong no matter what; this has impacted me and loved ones immensely. If you find you practice this, I implore you to cease and desist; realize how your actions impact others. Is that truly the energy you want to surround you? I was just checking my e-mails and reading of world and my friends’ woes; it is truly heartbreaking. I have to realize, however, (not being callous) I can only be the best me, act as a guide, listen when needed. I cannot make decisions for anyone; each person acts as themselves and is free to make their own choices (bad or good). Loving people deeply and unconditionally can have a profound effect; often we are so consumed with self that we lose our empathy for others. It is in this love that we become true human beings.

I love you

“Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.”- Richard M. DeVos
There are so many opportunities to do this throughout our day, yet few take advantage. As human beings, I believe we are always seeking encouragement; this often stems from the most unlikely places. Being fellows, we can, indeed, be the color in someone’s otherwise grey world. Personal circumstances may dictate otherwise and life may seem all but hopeless, but know that it is absolutely NOT. Whether it is a smile, kind word, or random act of kindness; actions indeed make an impact. Know that you are loved unconditionally. Even if I don’t personally know you, know that someone loves you for the simple fact that you ARE and nothing more. Know that you are worthy of being loved and of giving love to others. We sometimes feel as though we are alone, you are NOT; trust that I have been and continue to be on the front lines right along with you. And if no one else tells you, “You can do it and I love you!”

Rise above

“If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it.” Epictetus

Some things I have learned thusly: Not everyone will like you and I cannot take myself too seriously. I have (and still do) face criticism. I have found that the best way to stay out of controversy is to completely avoid it. If one does not do anything negative, then when we find ourselves amongst gossip and chaos, we can rest easy and simply laugh it off knowing that it is baseless and completely unfounded. I am indeed overly happy and all over the place, but I am harmless! I have received reminders of myself from 10 years ago and I must say, it’s COMPLETELY embarrassing! I must call myself out (aside from things done to me) I have been a thief, a liar, a cheat, an addict and alcoholic, completely out of control; this hardly touches the surface. If you are any of these things; do not count yourself out and feel damaged beyond repair. There is always hope; I know but little, I do, however, I know something about and believe in humanity and goodness. Trust that I am well versed on current events, much of my life revolves around them. I am well aware of all of the negativity and atrocities in the world; many of which (and I am EXTREMELY sad about) involve people I love. If I do not involve myself, I can laugh off negativity and realize it is not ME, but the other party. I have spent too much of my life spent at the whim of others; we choose this, no person has control unless permission is granted. One need not waste needless energy on worry of other’s thoughts about them, but rather remain secure with themselves.

What will be

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” – William Shakespeare
We are each ourselves up to this point; yet the present is malleable and the future not yet written. That which will be is unknown. We all have a choice as to our situation; one can choose positive or negative. Trust that the former me did not have the present me on the horizon. I knew what I was, which was absolutely a wreck, but absolutely! had no idea what I’d become. Quite frankly (I was told this by medical professionals) if I had continued my lifestyle, I would have been dead by age 24. I did not expect that I’d be healthy and happy at age 37. I realize each day is but a gift, today I appreciate each day I’m alive and choose to live to the fullest. I am no longer in mental anguish; no one is required to be, yet so often are. The philosopher Epectitus held the idea that a person is free if they choose to be, despite the confines that restrict them. I am quite fond of Epectitus, as his values hold court with mine. I truly believe each man and woman cannot control external circumstances, yet has the power of choice regarding their minds. I know well, we cannot control our brain chemistry, yet we choose things such as deep love, gratitude, and whether or not we will be positive in the face of adversity. Whatever we presently may be is subject to change. If you are clinging to pessimism, negativity, and formerly or presently horrible situations; there is no time like the present to change and be what you may be.

Preaching

“One filled with joy preaches without preaching.”
–Mother Teresa

 

I hope I never come across as preachy; if I do, I apologize. Someone who has had great influence on me once told me: we walk this path shoulder to shoulder. Woe be it to me to stand on a soapbox and attempt to control people. I cannot; each person will do what they want to do; I simply aim to encourage and inspire, never preach. Let bygones be bygones and you can indeed affect the world; not letting anyone affect you negatively. No one! If I make you angry, I apologize in advance. Some people despise love and happiness and find it obnoxious; it strikes me as very funny. Let your actions speak for you. I am simply a conglomerate of my words and especially deeds; these must be congruent if I am to live a fruitful life of balance. Today, I am filled with joy, despite external “things”.

Acts of kindness

“The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world.
There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created
in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores
of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will
appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.” –Leo Buscaglia

 

This world is writhe with choices; kindness and love is a choice not unlike any other. Happiness and sadness both take the same amount of effort on our parts. I can choose to be grateful for what I have… or I can wallow in misery. I have reasons beyond belief to feel sorry for myself, but what good would that do? The past is behind me. I can place blame or I can take responsibility for my present actions. I cannot control the actions of others. Seriously… I can’t even control my cats! I have no power over what is said or done to me, but I can, indeed, choose how I interpret such things. I am indeed blessed to have people surrounding me who deeply love me, unconditionally. Those who do not know me judge me based on my history and appearance; it does not affect me unless I let it. Generally speaking, a kind word or a smile tends to soften such pre-conceived notions. It is relatively funny to see someone with a walker holding the door for someone with a wheelchair. If all you can manage is to tell someone you love them today; do it. The world could use it!

Things don’t just happen

Let it be clearly known; I did not just suddenly become good. It has taken years! of extremely hard work to become who I am today. I have a horrible past, writhe with substance abuse, cheating, lying, things done to me, self-mutilation, serious eating disorders, disabilities, death, etc., etc. I am not my past. Yes, it affects me, but I had to realize; either I live in my past and wallow in misery or I learn from it and move on. I have spent enough of my life feeling sorry for myself; I know what it’s like to dwell amongst the weeds. I choose to live in the sun, with the flowers, today! There is no magic pill. Often, we seek out a quick fix for our problems. I can use alcohol and drugs and food and sex and love and psychotropics as a temporary solution, but it is just that; temporary and fleeting and I am thus left with myself, after all is said and done. It is not until I search within, am honest with myself and others, and do not hide and suppress my true being, that I find solace. If I am not doing well, I don’t hide it. These days, it is rare that I’m not. For example, one of my very dear friends passed away a month and a half ago; this was followed by 3 other friends dying and the anniversary of my father’s suicide all within one week. Needless to say, this took its toll. I did not, however, take these things to heart and use them as an excuse to feel sorry for myself; how I meet challenges is a choice…these things only stop me if I give them power over me. My attitude is more powerful than people and events in my life. I am not Superwoman, I have flaws; I am perfectly imperfect. Love yourself despite your past and your flaws and I challenge you to be patient and honest and kind to yourself and others!

Embrace love

Love and joy are found in the simplest things; a kind word or action; not always in grandiose acts. It is the quality, not quantity that defines such things. We all have this potential within us; it is often tainted by a lifetime of heartache, yet still still the heart beats and kindness and love run deep. So often it’s tainted by circumstances or our own idea of who we are and our inability to embrace our potential. There is no beauty to be found in anger, hate, and rage. Forgive others as you would have them forgive you. Embrace each others flaws and imperfections and realize we all have pasts and reasons we are who we are. However, be careful not to let these things effect you in the present. You are you present; embrace your love, kindness, and gratitude here… today.

Simple things

So often we complicate life and ignore things in their purest and most simple element. Laughter, happiness, the ability to physically function, freedom, air, etc.  Simple things that are, indeed, largely taken for granted. As a handicapped woman living on her own, I highly value my freedom from bondage and respect simple things, such as owning a walker and handicapped bars. I also am enamored with the love I have in my life. It’s the simple things; we compound our lives with judgments surrounding appearances, gossip, and hate and fail to look beyond at the purity of what “it” actually is. I have found in my life that there is much joy in the simple things and much heartache in the complex. Putting one foot in front of the other and facing troubles and naysayers with bravery has become my “go to”. I am not brave by nature; this is a learned behavior I have cultivated primarily by being grateful for the simple joys and pleasures in my life. I have faced death, disability, multiple mental disorders, etc. in my past; if I did not remain optimistic and hold onto little joys, my head would surely explode. Love and happiness, these are the things I cling to these days; in the face of adversity, I have love and joy and no one can take that away from me. Life has ups and downs, twists and turns; with the good there is bad and with the bad good, but optimism can remain constant, despite. I have a health complication, with which I am currently dealing, but I also have tremendous love in my life; bad and good can simultaneously exist. It is vital that we break things down as basic as we can get them; a lifetime of judgements and layers compound our vantage points.  Once upon a time, we were free this hate and condemnation that so often sways our judgments and controls our lives today. Hate of others and not forgiving past misdeeds are often poisoning to the soul and can eat at the psyche like a cancer. This includes not forgiving oneself and complicating life with “if only”. You can’t change the past and ruminating on it can drive you insane. It’s putting one foot in front of the other, facing obstacles with bravery, focusing on the simple things, and remaining optimistic.