It’ll be ok

Ten years ago, I was all alone; had lost or ostracized all of my friends, had lost my mind, and was basically the walking dead. Tonight, I am in a warm bed and snuggling my two cats; tomorrow my stepfather will text me at 6 am to tell me he loves me and good morning and I will exchange good days with my best friends. A lot can change over time; if you had told me ten years ago that this would be my life today, I would have laughed. Actually… no I wouldn’t have; I was too morose to laugh. I honestly did not think I’d be alive at this point; the way my life was going, I wouldn’t have been for much longer. Know that there is always hope; no matter your age, mental or physical health; it will be ok no matter WHAT. I am not saying you will be cured of a serious illness or “un-age”, but despite these dilemmas; everything will be ok. Not necessarily as you would have it be, but it will be…  I have more mental and physical problems than I have time to go into right now; I remind myself I am ok. That I am strong (I imagine Wonder Woman!) and despite my obvious flaws, I am going to be alright.

I had a wonderful visit today with a friend who also brought me gifts; this would NOT have been my March 7th ten years ago. I had no friends to visit and no one would have given me ANYTHING. As I stated earlier, my stepfather will call me tomorrow; I will tell him I love him back and truly mean it. I referred to him as “f-ing douchebag” ten years ago; I hated him with every fiber of my being. I did not care for people in general; today I am blessed with more love than I could have ever dreamed of. I do not always receive love from those I desire; sometimes we don’t get love from whom we want it, and that’s ok. Even if it’s a simple smile from a stranger; it’s love. I am not desired, do not win a popularity contest, am not Miss –whatever; but I have friends and love in my life; that is more important than being the most “what have you”.

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