Comparison

“Comparison is the thief of joy”- Theodore Roosevelt

Let me tell you a story:

At one point, when I worked at GNC, we had photographs of fitness models around the store. A man, in decent shape (a normal man), sadly approached me and pointed to a photograph and said he wanted to look like “that guy”. I was taken aback and ended up talking with him for over half an hour about how that was a MODEL and does that for a living. Health and self-confidence do not arise from huge muscles or a perfect figure; external pleasures are merely illusions if not bolstered by the internal. True beauty stems from within; it is not derived from the external. It does not make a difference how an individual appears if their insides do not match. I often wonder how I’d react if I was suddenly disfigured; I already have a walker and am disabled (handi-CAPABLE!) and I take that in stride.

When I was younger, I wished my hair was brown; I died it, it looked horrible, and I had to go to a salon to get it out. I starved myself and binged and purged to be thin; I wound up in hospitals and psych wards. I drank and drugged to feel different and found myself in more hospitals and rehabilitation centers and was desperately suicidal. I cut myself to feel different, yet it was only temporary. You see; I have always tried to alter myself in some form or fashion. I believe that is the human condition; “The grass is always greener on the other side”. I was simply doing what society had taught me to do, to conform (at my downfall) to appease it. It took years of multi-faceted work to undo a lifetime of undo peer and societal pressure and arrive at a place where I could love and accept myself. I have myriad of flaws, but despite them, I love myself. You are ok just how you are!

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